I’m so sorry you are struggling with this situation, Lisa… Life ebbs and flows. Some friends stay with us on our journey the entire way, while others are there only for a certain period of time. It sounds like you tried your best to keep the connection but we only have control over ourselves.

Feeling grateful for the season of life that you two had together, and trying to forgive her for the painful end to your relationship might be a great next step. You don’t ever have to verbally say “I forgive you”, she never has to know, but it can be really important for you to do this to be able to release this energy. ~Erin xo

It is definitely an adjustment that takes time and a total mindset shift. When you’ve been taught that love and kindness are only based on your actions and the energy spent on serving those around you, it takes a lot more energy to re-learn how to spend some time on YOU.

I think you’re on the right track and I would never say you are a “mean” person. It’s so clear that you care about others, you care about the quality time you spend with your husband and your students. Finding the boundaries that work for you just takes time. And there’s no better time than right now, to work on this! ~Erin xo

Thank you for sharing your story, Kathy… it may help other people walking through the same situation. I’m so sorry to hear that things were unable to be mended, but good for you for trying. It sounds like it was also transformative for you, that’s wonderful! ~Erin xo

I am a school teacher in CA, I am newly married (first time), and I just turned 40. I have a one hour commute going home, so I have been watching your fashion videos as I drive. It is so inspiring and makes me want to burn all my clothes and start over, lol.
Something I struggle with m, that is similar to what you were talking about, is this thing with boundaries. Since turning 40, it’s like I no longer want people to control me, and I am being really militant about it. I was single for a long time, and a people-pleaser, and I would drop everything to help others. Now, I don’t do that, I have cut people out of life who were sucking me dry, and I find myself saying, “No!” a lot, even if it is a scream in my heart but a nice gentle answer from my mouth.

I am struggling, though- am I a mean person? I do not serve and give like I used to. I feel like I am finding my boundaries and really enforcing them this season, especially guarding my time with my husband. What do say about “love” with it comes to boundaries? I grew up that love was bending over backwards for people, but I am tired of that. So tired. I feel tired of giving because I do that ALL day with my 150 music students. But when I do not give/serve, I feel guilty. I want to be strong, say no, and feel ok about it. What do you say? How do I have boundaries and not feel guilty? Thank you for your help. ~Beth

Such a good point! I’m glad this one resonated with you, Lori. ~Erin xo

Antonia, I am SO sorry that you’ve dealt with these kinds of friendships. Covid did a number on all of us, but it sounds like you’ve persevered and come out a better person… and congrats on the new beau! Never feel like taking care of yourself and prioritizing your wants/needs is selfish! Thank you so much for sharing this with us. ~Team Busbee xo