It’s easy to fall into the rut of putting ourselves—and our love lives—last on our list of priorities. But why should our work, our children, our pets, or even our laundry take precedence over our sexual relationships? The truth is, it shouldn’t. In a 2016 study cited in Psychology Today, Swedish behavioral economists revealed that increasing sexual frequency from once a month to once a week boosted happiness as much as having an extra $50,000 in the bank. So, let’s talk about sex and what to do when being too busy interferes with “getting busy”. Here are some tips that are sure to help.
#1 | Just as you do when you budget your income, pay yourself first—only in time instead of dollars.
Let’s face it: the mere thought of carving out time for sex on the to-do list can be stressful. But consider this: a quickie counts, too — and can be much more exciting than a pre-planned tete-a-tete. A rendezvous at bedtime can seem like more work by the end of a long day. So, surprise your partner — sneak into the shower in the morning. Slip into the closet in a pair of sexy panties while he or she is getting dressed for work. It’s sure to remind both of you how much fun spontaneity can be. Plus you’ll have a fun memory to reminisce about during that boring Zoom meeting later in the day.
#2 | Relive your younger years: Do it in the car.
Before you laugh and roll your eyes, consider this: not only will you be enjoying intimacy without fear of interruption by other family members, the dog, your UPS guy, etc., but you’ll also create a memory that no doubt involves lots of laughter and a secret between you that intensifies your intimate connection.
#3 | As the Nike slogan goes: Just do it.
If we’re honest with ourselves, sometimes even if there is a window of opportunity, we’re not in the mood. But if you can force yourself into the gym to exercise or the kitchen to cook, you can also overcome the proverbial “headache” when it comes to sex. Get in the pool or the hot tub together with a glass of wine. Unwind. Kiss. Show up to bed wearing something unexpectedly sexy instead of the standard tank top and undies. Bring some massage oil. It’s amazing what a little atmosphere can do for the libido.
#4 | Use it or lose it.
We’re all guilty at some point of making the excuse “I don’t have the time.” But if we want something badly enough, we make time for it. If you and your partner were commuting to and from work before the pandemic and now you both work from home, that could add up to hours once spent in rush-hour traffic that now belong to you. How you use that time is entirely up to you. If the thought of snuggling on the sofa binging Bridgerton is more appealing than getting busy, well — been there! But consider the rush you feel when you and your partner are intimately connected. Bridgerton (and the Duke of Hastings) will still be there tomorrow. Choose wisely.
Do you have any creative tips to share on how to “get busy” even when you’re too busy? We want to know — so please share! In the meantime, check out this post on How to Make Time For Each Other When There is None.
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