Why These Social Media Influencers Over 40 Decided to Go Gray

Those aren’t gray hairs.  They are strands of glitter.

Natural hair has been one of the hottest trends for the past year thanks to celebrities like Andie McDowell, Pink and Kate Moss who’ve opted to go gray. A few celebs like Katie Holmes and Jessica Biel are also letting their gray streaks fly.  And even women who aren’t spotting any signs of grays are asking for this beautiful color at salons. So, if you are looking for inspiration on how to go gray – these fabulous social media influencers will leave you wishing you had embraced gray hair sooner!  Join me as I chat with Carla Martin, Julia Amyotte and Jin Cruce about why they decided to go gray.  And learn about their favorite beauty products that help them look and feel gorgeous and sexy.

I share more beauty influencer’s product recommendations that I tried (and LOVED!) here.

Carla Martin influencer black t-shirt, going gray, how to transition to gray hair over 40, going gray

Carla Martin

What made you decide to go grey?

I was so tired of trying to hide my grays. I was coloring my hair every two weeks and every time it was literally painful.  My scalp would itch like crazy during the process and for the next three days. It was time-consuming and yet, by day five, my gray roots would begin to show.

How was the transition process for you?

I did some research on Instagram and found inspiration with other women over 40 with gray hair.  Sarah Harris of British Vogue was a big inspiration – she has such long, beautiful hair!  I consulted with my hair stylist, and she warned me that the process could be damaging.  But I took the risk.  And yes, it was quite a process.  The stylist toned my hair quite a bit and then cut it chin length.  And that was it!

What was the reaction with friends, family and your followers?

When I came back home, my then 7-year-old son started to cry asking me to go back and ask for my “real” hair color. I explained that my hair was not dark brown, and I was going to see what my real hair color was underneath.  Fortunately, he quickly got used to my new look. The two most common responses were, “I’m sure you don’t have that much gray hair!” and “You are so brave!”  My husband is my biggest supporter and still encourages me to let my gray hair grow.

What’s the best advice you have for women considering going gray?

Look for inspiration.  And get support, encouragement and beauty tips from other women who have embraced their grays.  Try new colors for your outfits, makeup and accessories.

How do you keep your gray hair looking gorgeous?

I wash my hair almost daily; it is very straight and gets greasy very easily so washing my hair is part of my daily routine. I use argan oil or a mix of oils from mid-length to ends and massage my scalp with whatever is left.  I put my hair in a high bun and let the oils soak in overnight.

What are your favorite hair care products?

Oils! Love argan, coconut, grapeseed and almond oil. I use Pantene Micellar Conditioner.  Some people can say it is ‘cheap’, but it works for me!  I also use Shimmer Lights Purple Shampoo as it gets rid of the yellow tones.

What is your desert island beauty product?

A rich moisturizer, sunblock, cream blush and lip balm.  I don’t need anything else.

Instagram:@Silvergirlmx
You can find Carla on YouTube too!

Julia Amyotte going gray, going gray, how to transition to gray hair over 40, going gray, growing out gray hair

Julia Amyotte

What made you choose to go gray?

I didn’t want to worry about looking younger anymore. That was my only reason. It’s been nice not to have the hassle of scheduling appointments around vacations, events, etc. But really truly the only reason I actually stopped was because I didn’t want to try to look like I used to when I was in my 20’s and 30’s.  I wanted my age to be visible.  To show. And it’s truly like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Was the process of transitioning to gray hair very difficult?

It was much easier than I thought! The first few months were filled with doubt and the reoccurring thought, “What am I doing??” I struggled with the notion that people would think I looked older, let myself go and was no longer attractive.  But as time passed and my hair grew out, I became more committed during the process.   We were in quarantine, so restrictions also meant fewer opportunities to go out.  So, I wasn’t really self-conscious about my gray roots.  That’s when I started my Instagram account and received so much positive support from the Silver Sister community!  It definitely made the transition a whole lot easier.

How did those close to you react?

The only reaction I truly cared about was my partner’s.  He didn’t think I could go more than a month or two without coloring.  But he quickly jumped onboard and has been my biggest fan and supporter.  He often tells me how much my “silvers are shining in the sun” or how pretty they look. The women in my life were a little more hesitant.  But it’s been two years, and everyone says my hair looks lovely. My followers have been nothing short of amazing!  So encouraging and supportive and kind. Their compliments got me through the tough early stages of the grow-out process and motivated me to keep going!

What advice do you have for women considering this journey?

Follow other Silver Sisters! My biggest source of inspiration is following women who are well into the grow-out process. They glowed with self-acceptance and confidence, and I wanted that too!!  I’d also suggest letting go of all expectations of what it might look like. Every Silver Sister has their own unique grow out pattern. I also pamper myself in new ways. Instead of getting pampered at the hair salon, I do lots of face masks and bubble baths at home.

What is your secret to keeping your hair beautiful and healthy?

I do regular overnight coconut oil soaks and I also get a professional clear gloss toner on my grays every few months.

Do you have a ride or die, favorite beauty product?

NYX Born to Glow naturally radiant foundation. I’ve been using it for years and it always gives me such smooth, glowing skin. It never looks cakey or settles into creases. It’s my favorite item in my makeup bag!

Instagram: @juliasjourneytosilver

jim cruce, going gray, going gray, how to transition to gray hair over 40, going gray

Jin Cruce

What made you choose to go gray?

I was so tired of getting my roots colored every two weeks and thought about it off and on for about a year.  But I couldn’t fully commit.  I worried about how I would look and what my mother would think! (She is 83 and still colors her hair.) But as soon as I found out I was going to be a grandmother (it was a BIG surprise) I started to rethink it.  I thought about the kind of grandmother I wanted to be – a cool, loving courageous grandmother who wasn’t afraid to be herself despite societal expectations.

How was the transition process?

My transition process was very simple.  I went cold turkey and didn’t do anything to my hair other than pull it back into a ponytail.  It made it easier to not see the demarcation line.  When it was long enough, I cut off the remaining color in my hair!

What did your family think?

Most of my family, coworkers and customers were very supportive.  I think my mom was a little embarrassed to be seen in public with me and even now she’ll occasionally ask if I want to color my hair ?

What advice do you have to share?

My best advice for women considering going grey is to just go for it!  Realistically, know that this journey isn’t going to be easy at the beginning, but it will get better.   You will gain more courage and confidence as months go by. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain and you can always color it back if you are not ready or don’t like it.

How do you keep your hair hydrated and soft?

I wash my hair every 3-4 days.  Air-drying my hair as long as possible is key because too much heat isn’t good for my hair. I have a course, wavy texture so I use shampoos and conditioners that are moisturizing to make it feel softer. My current favorite hair products are L’Oréal Ever Pure Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner, John Freida Frizz Ease for frizz on wet hair before styling and Olive Oil by ORS for shine on dry hair.

What beauty product could you NOT live without?

My go-to beauty products are Olay Complete moisturizer with SPF 30, EOS lip balm, and Jones Road Beauty Lip and Cheek Stick  ?.

Instagram: @agingwith_style_and_grays

So, dear readers, what do you think?  Is this something you’re considering?  If you’ve taken the plunge, we’d love to hear about your journey.  Please let us know in the comments section below.  And as always, be sure to subscribe to Erin’s newsletter for valuable resources and to have blog posts delivered directly to your inbox. You can sign up here.

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  1. Melissa Jones says:

    At 41 I decided to embrace my gray hair. I went to my stylist and we cut it super short! I’ve love the natural look.

    My only concern was people would think my daughter (who was 3 at the time) was my granddaughter. After a few weeks, I stopped caring. Four years later I never looked back!

  2. Susan McCoy says:

    I decided to see what my gray hair would look like after several salons in the city we moved to could not get my color (light blonde) right. I had highlights done every 3 or 4 months while it was growing out and only my husband and my sister noticed the difference. I didn’t get highlights for over a year during Covid but decided that I like having just of touch of platinum blonde with the gray so will keep having the highlights done for the foreseeable future. The whole process of going gray was never a big deal. I knew going in that if I didn’t like it I could always keep looking for a salon that could figure out the formula for the all over color.

  3. Heather Drew says:

    YES! with COVID and my mom having cancer I did not see a hair salon for 5 months. My hair grows very fast, so I had about 4 inches of grow out. Now 51, I’ve been dying my brown hair since I was 24! My hair dresser asked me what I wanted to do. I thought, well I’m not going back now! She bleached out my ends blonde/white. My hair is more white than gray. It’s been almost a year and I LOVE it!

  4. Shelley says:

    I love this article. I love anything talking about women who embrace going more natural. Living up to so many visual video photos not that we’re asked to.its just normal. Is hard. The more women embrace being”real” and stop this obsession with such external thing’s. Example. We as a society screamed at companies to begin including real woman fluffy women, women w freakles etc…yet youtube still seems obsessed with 20 lbs, botox, fillers, mini face lifts all the things. I believe the more we gravitate to what we asked of companies to do the better. These women are Gorgeous. Love it❣️❣️❣️❣️

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