How to Manage BIG Life Transitions with Empowerment And Ease

There are so many experiences in our lives that can be life-changing. Especially as women go through our mid-life years, big life transitions take place that can be really difficult to manage. We took a class during our trip to Miraval about life transitions and thriving during change. We learned some great coping strategies that we feel are important to share with you. Learning to manage life changes and transitions with ease can give you a sense of empowerment that’s SO important. Below, we’re sharing more about life transitions, why they are so important, and some coping mechanisms for handling life transitions. Grab your coffee and get comfy because this is a long one!

How to Manage BIG Life Transitions With Empowerment And Ease

What Are Life Transitions?

Simply put, life transitions are any period in your life that involves a lot of change. They can come in many different forms and everyone’s experiences are different. But they can really impact your life in a significant way. You might not even realize that a life transition is affecting you, how you feel, your relationships, your style, etc. One of the most important things you can do to handle life transitions is to acknowledge and accept them first.

Examples Of Life Transitions

Here are just a few types of life transitions you may have experienced or are experiencing now…

• Becoming a parent
• Moving to a new place
• Moving to a new house
• Career change
• Death of a family member or loss of a loved one
• Menopause
• Reaching a specific age or issues with aging
• Getting married, starting or ending a new relationship
• Becoming ill or disabled
• Retiring
• Kids going to college
• Becoming an empty nester
• Financial gain or loss
• Questioning faith or spirituality
• Questioning sexual or gender identity

Why Life Transitions Are Difficult

Life transitions are difficult for a few reasons…

• Change – Life transitions include lots of change…and change is hard!
• Stress – The uncertainty and fear of change can lead to a lot of physical and emotional stress.
• Expectation – Whether a change is expected or unexpected, they have a profound impact. And often, people are expected to feel a certain way during certain life transitions. For example, has a friend ever told you they were pregnant, and you said “Oh my gosh! Congrats, that’s so exciting!”? At that moment, you’re not asking them how they feel about it, you’re portraying an expectation of feelings you think they should have during this life change.
• Emotions – Change can lead to a whirlwind of emotions that are constantly changing.
• Loss of Self – This one is SO important, especially for women. Sometimes life changes can leave you feeling like you don’t know who you are or who you’ll be post-transition.

Why Are Transitions Important In Life?

Life transitions are so important because they teach you lessons and show you that you can get through hard situations. Learning how to manage major life transitions well or somewhat easily can help you face challenges and changes in the future, and you come out stronger and wiser. But it’s not easy…so we’re sharing how to handle them below…

How To Handle Life Transitions

There are a few tools you can use to thrive, or at least cope, with life transitions. We’ve included some mindset tools, mindfulness tools, and behavioral tools for mastering life transitions below…

Mindset Tools

Understand

Understanding that change is a normal and unavoidable part of life is the first step in thriving through change. Change happens to everyone, and you will probably have more than one life transition in your lifetime.

Recognize

It’s important to recognize or acknowledge that a change is happening. Many people prefer to bury themselves in work, raising their kids, taking care of a loved one, etc. instead of recognizing that they have something (a life transition) they need to work on and process.

Accept

This one is hard. With many life transitions, sometimes you won’t get that “closure” you’re seeking. Sometimes there’s no ”fix” and that can be really hard to accept.

Remember

Remember that dealing with transitions is something you’ve done before. You’ve made it through and you’re better for it…remember that!

 Shift

Shifting your perspective might be the best mindset tool to cope with life changes. Reframing your thoughts around a situation so that they are either realistic, positive, or neutral is a game-changer!

Mindfulness Tools

Practicing mindfulness during these transitions is SO important in helping you gain clarity, insight, and self-compassion. These mindfulness tools are great to use every day as well.

Journaling

Whether you free-write for 10 minutes a day or 10 minutes a week, journaling can be a very powerful tool when processing life changes. If free writing isn’t really your style, try starting with a prompt that resonates with you. Google “journaling prompt for dealing with ____” and type whatever life transition you’re dealing with.

Meditation

If you’ve never meditated before, it can seem a little scary to get started. But even mediating for 1 minute a day can help with that mind-body connection.

Breath

Focusing on your breath or using different breathing exercises can help calm the nervous system and lower your cortisol (stress hormone) levels. We have shared some very helpful breathing exercises in this post in case you’re interested!

Affirmations or Mantras

Saying affirmations or mantras every day can help you feel more empowered as you’re going through these life changes. It seems simple, but it’s powerful. You can create your own affirmations by starting with “I am” or “I can”. If you need some ideas, here are a few examples:

I am free
I am strong and confident.
I let go of my fear.
I choose to focus on me.
I am free from worry.  

Visualization

Ask yourself what the best version of yourself or your future self looks like post-transition. Visualizing your best self can give you hope for the future and something to strive for or work towards. If it helps, write it down in a journal and revisit it when you need to.

Lucky Charms

This is one that might seem silly but having lucky charms actually helps some people feel more confident or optimistic. Think about when you wear your favorite top on a date…you feel your best, right?! Well, lucky charms are similar. Maybe you have that lucky coin in your pocket when you go into an interview. Lucky charms come in all shapes and sizes and should be very personal to you. Some examples include coins, four-leaf clovers, horseshoes, dreamcatchers, evil eyes, and rabbit feet.

Behavioral Tools

Next, we’ll share a few behavioral or physical things you can do to help yourself cope with life changes.

Prepare When You Can

Changes can be unexpected or expected. If there’s a life change that is expected and that you can see coming, feeling prepared can help in that transition. For example, if you know your child is leaving for college soon and you’re worried, ask yourself what you need to know or what would make you feel better through this transition. Do you need to know exactly what they’ll need for their dorm for a smooth move-in? Start Googling to find the perfect college packing list and make your checklist! Are you worried they won’t know how to cook themselves meals on their own? Write some easy recipe cards and have them start cooking with you at home before they leave. There are small things you can do to make yourself feel more prepared…like your mini version of finding control in a situation you don’t actually have control in.

Allow For Feelings & Emotions

Now, finding your mini version of control is important. But it’s equally as important to actually feel the emotions rather than burying them and focusing on your to-dos/preparing. Identifying your feelings and allowing yourself to have them without shame or guilt is very important. Then…you should express your feelings clearly and effectively so that you and your loved ones can understand and process where you’re coming from.

Ask For Help

Which leads us to the next tool…Ask for help!! It can be easy to think you need to handle it alone, but this is when you should be leaning on your support system the most. Confide in your friends and family, allow yourself to take in that social support, and don’t be afraid to say exactly what you need. Sometimes the people who need the most support are the ones that seem like they need it the least…so make sure you check in on your friends too!

Develop & Keep a Routine

It can be easy when a major life change happens to retreat from daily life. But keeping up with your daily routines is crucial. It doesn’t have to be 100% perfect all the time. But in general, consistency is key. Keep up your social connections, workout routine, prayer, connecting with nature, hobbies, career, etc.

Reflect

This is similar to the visualization tool I mentioned above. Reflect on who you are now, where you’ve been,  and where you want to be.

Create a Ritual or Symbolic Act

We did say that you probably won’t get “closure” but it is possible to get “release.” This is especially powerful if you’re mourning, moving on from something, and/or closing a chapter of your life. Creating a ritual or symbolic act helps you acknowledge that change/loss/next step and “release” it. This can include walking a labyrinth, burning things, smudging rituals, cord-cutting rituals, water rituals, cleaning rituals, crystals, etc. But really, it’s up to you!

Do Not Compromise Self-Care

This is the most important! DO NOT compromise self-care! Taking care of your body and mental health will help you thrive through life transitions with way more ease. Drink enough water, eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, exercise (even if it’s just 10 minutes a day), practice mindfulness, and most importantly…treat yourself with love and kindness.

Do you have any questions? Have you used any of these tools while dealing with a life transition? Let us know in the comments below!

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Alissa - Social Media Manager

It's all too easy for me to get carried away with my own mental checklist of things to do, and I often find myself feeling overwhelmed and bogged down by the pressure of it all. The practice of "mindfulness" was highlighted at Miraval, and it's easily one of my biggest takeaways. Mindfulness is defined as simply bringing awareness and acceptance to our moment-to-moment experiences. To practice it, I have been focusing on being more mindful of my everyday experiences. Whether it's reflecting on everything I am grateful for as I cozy into bed at night, breathing in the fresh air outside as I notice the sights and sounds around me, or simply standing in my kitchen appreciating the smell of delicious homemade food with the sound of my kids' laughter echoing in the background. Taking the time to be more mindful has made such a difference in pulling me out of the grind and into the moment with a deeper appreciation for where I am.

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Susan - Digital Content Editor

There were many poignant takeaways from the retreat, but if I had to choose just one it would be the importance of accepting transitions in life. As someone who really doesn’t love change, this is difficult for me. But recognizing transitions are inevitable and trying to find the positive in them has been eye-opening and has taught me to reframe my thoughts about change. This pretty much leads to the one habit I’m implementing fairly consistently (still a work in progress!) which involves rethinking my reaction to stress or anxiety…even if it’s something small. At Miraval, we learned that even small (seemingly relatively innocent) little stressors can together have a BIG impact in terms of our happiness and the negativity we carry around in a day. If I start to get anxious about something, I can control the feelings by doing one of these things: breathe/meditate for one minute, change my thinking pattern, listen to music, walk or move briskly. Basically, just change what I’m doing to temporarily step back and gain some perspective. I can ask myself, “Am I giving this “problem” more weight than it deserves?” Essentially, I’m distracting myself from the negativity and choosing to focus on something more positive. I’ve learned there is always something positive to focus on if I choose to find it! So, I try to catch myself before I go down the negative rabbit hole.

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Denise – YouTube Co-Producer

Since returning from our team retreat at Miraval, I have been doing a deep dive into habits. Research has shown that those who create a new “small” habit often have a larger ripple effect in their lives, even more than those who try to implement a larger change. At Miraval, we attended a session that focused on brain health. One of the small takeaways from this session was that the body needs to be hydrated in order to function most efficiently. We have all heard this before…drinking 8 glasses of water a day is in no way new advice, but for some reason, something in this lecture gave me the motivation to try and shift from virtually zero glasses a day to the recommended amount of 8. I’m a diehard Diet Snapple, coffee, and Diet Lemonade girl! Upon returning home, I bought myself a new water bottle, started filling it each morning, and brought it up to my desk. Without even realizing it, I found myself emptying the 32 oz bottle 2 and sometimes 3 times per day. Within a week, the changes I felt (more moisturized skin, less hunger, a more settled stomach) were undeniable. The same research also shows that once you develop a habit, it is easy to “habit stack”. This means you can add on more habits to existing ones and that is exactly what I did. I have moved my vitamins and supplements to my desk which I now take daily because I have the water sitting right next to me. As an added bonus, I am also consuming a ton less artificial sweeteners and caffeine now that I am reaching for my water. If you’re interested in diving deeper into information about habits, I’m currently reading The Power of Habit and Atomic Habits, both linked below.

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Joy – Virtual Assistant

While at Miraval, we took a class about intuitive living and one of the principles was to “Be Clueless.” Which just means that you should choose not to give power to the thinking mind. Instead, practice being clueless by enhancing your senses and connecting to them. One habit I have adopted since the retreat is going outside each day after work and sitting in silence for 15 minutes. I set the timer on my phone, close my eyes, and just listen. Once I've heard 10-15 unique sounds, I then open my eyes and finish out the 15 minutes looking around but remaining silent. It's been a wonderful calming way to transition out of my work brain. And I’m giving more power to my senses than to my thinking mind.

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Rachel – Community Manager

The Team Retreat was something I was looking forward to for months, yet as we got closer and closer to it, I began to feel nervous and unsure of what was to come - anxious feelings that I get with anything new, no matter how exciting it may be. Well, this retreat was, first of all… AMAZING. It was wonderful to be in a beautiful place, to get pampered, to meet and connect with the most amazing team of women, and to simply have a break from the craziness of everyday life… but the best part of it all was what I took home with me. During this short time, I was able to learn so many helpful practices that have truly changed my own well-being and ability to connect with the world around me. The overall theme of the Miraval journey is to focus on and implement mindfulness and balance. Before this week, I thought I was practicing this in my daily life…but boy was I wrong! One particular practice that I have loved adding to my routine, is that of Mindful Eating. The question was posed in a group session at Miraval, “Are you tasting your food or just your thoughts?” Often when I sit down to have a meal, I’ll look at my phone, try to get work done, watch a show, or simply try to eat as quickly as I can to get on to the next task of my day. Without ever thinking about the food I'm eating, only thinking about whatever else is going on inside of my head. But this practice allows you to slow down and truly enjoy. The simple act of placing your fork on the table in between bites forces you to physically move slower and gives you the space to focus on and savor the food that you are consuming. As soon as I heard this, I thought it would be an easy thing to add to my routine every day. Even better…Every single meal could be mindful and what a difference that could make! Well, reality sets in once you return home from a place like Miraval, and the to-do list comes right back. But we were reminded that even one Mindful Meal a week can make such a difference. And how true that has proven to be!

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Kaitlyn - Digital Strategy Manager

I’m extremely hard on myself…Even when it’s pretty unwarranted. I think many women can relate to that. Deciding to skip a workout, not getting to everything on my to-do list for the day, or forgetting to pick up the dry cleaning are all simple (and usually inconsequential) things that make me start that negative inner monologue about not being “insert adjective here” enough. If this sounds familiar…you’re not alone! One of the tools I learned during our Mindful Stress Mastery class at Miraval is something I’ve started implementing and can already tell makes a difference. When that negative inner monologue starts, put your right hand over your chest or stomach and place your left hand on your forearm. When you do it, say “gentle” in your head or out loud as a reminder to be gentle with yourself. Touch is such a strong sense and when you give yourself that small reminder, it can make a huge impact.